into the dark side

I’m afraid of my dark side. Afraid that if I dare to explore it I might fall into an abyss so deep I can never find my way back again. It is a real fear, a real chest gripping fear that feels like a heavy weight that is slowly crushing the life out of me.

The interesting thing about the fear is that I am not afraid that the darkness might consume me, but that I will consume it and become something that is even more terrifying. I do not have any doubts about my power. It is the idea of fully diving into it, without fear holding me back, I guess I’m frightened by what I know myself to be capable of.

This is why I have preferred to embrace the light, why I feel that if I scoot over to way on the other side of the fence, then the darkness can lose some of that force that beckons to me to explore it. To shine some light on it and start to understand it. And I draw closer with mixed feelings. ‘That which you understand too well you are in danger of becoming’

Smile.

Right now I’m afraid there is more danger is not exploring all facets of my Self. This illusion that being totally in the light is somehow controlling these darker elements in me, keeping them down and rendering them powerless is skewering my vision and making me lose the clarity that has guided my steps thus far.

It seems like all the steps I have taken have led me here. Even when I double back and take another path, I still eventually find myself here. On the brink of crossing over and exploring this darkness…