nay to naysayers

(Found this picture under the caption, we just want to feel good - let us)

I was talking to my aunt over the weekend and she is such a lovely cheery soul. She was looking the best I had seen her in a few days and we were so happy to get some time to spend together and just catch up. She is so cat-like. She loves to bask and enjoy life and appreciate all the wonderful moments and the great things she has in her life.

She recently moved to live near a friend of hers and last time I met her she wasn't her usual cheery self and while I was remarking about how good she looked she told me her secret. Her friend is such a pessimist and she had never really realised it till she moved and was around her all the time. She had a way of just taking the joy out of anything. For a while she had began to buy into it. She would wake up optimistic and full of anticipation and run into her friend and promptly have it explained to her why she had absolutely no reason to be happy.

She would be cheerful because it was such a lovely day and her friend would wonder why was she going out when it was so hot and dusty and how tired she would get walking to where she was going. She would come home excited about something someone she had met on her walk had told her and her friend would tell how she really shouldn't talk to strangers, who knows what terrible things these people would do to her. She had tons of stories like these and we laughed about it, but I couldn't help but think of my own naysayers, beginning with that little one that sits on my shoulder and whispers things into my ears. She had discovered what downer her friend was and had decided to simply pay no attention to her anymore. That was the secret.

I'm reminded of this today when I heard some people talking about how bad things were in the country and how they can only get worse. The person saying it sounded so certain and they came to me with all the reasons why everything was going down hill. My reaction surprised the both of us. This person is a dear friend and we have many lovely animated conversations but I just totally ignored him, and he slowly trailed off and went off to find something interesting to do. It felt good to choose not to go down that path with him. And the truth is, none of us have any idea what would happen tomorrow. I'm not doom and gloomy right this moment though and I can choose to focus on thoughts that feel good. Like everything working out and all being well. It feels so good to do that and not so good to go down the other path. I have so many things that bring joy to my life, am I supposed to be miserable and anxious because of something someone else has chosen to imagine and talk about?

The imagination is a beautiful thing and I prefer to use mine to bring me pleasure. It feels so good to feel good. Why would I want to stop? I am reminded of a story in Pollyanna Grows Up. The sequel to the The Glad Book. Pollyanna enters a writing competition and she would love to win. Its her first attempt and she decides that she is going to act like she is going to win it anyway, this way she gets to be happy as she thinks about how happy she will be. The results will be announced in a few months and thinking that she is going to win she gets to be happy the whole time whether she does win in the end or not. This way if she gets disappointed she'll have three months of happiness in the meantime. What's the point of this story? There is no point. It is a pleasant thought though, not letting the possibility of something bad happening, cheat you out of more feel good time. If things could go two ways and one feels better, why not pick the thought that feels better, simply because it feels better? Choosing to go down the other path simply makes no sense at all.

Pollyanna didn't win the competition in the end, but she had a great time and lots of lovely things happened in that time that it wasn't so important for her to win after all. And she didn't stop feeling good.

And that's what I call a happy ending.

" ..."

"If you could relax and pet your cat and dangle your feet in the stream and find things that please you and focus upon them...and spend time with the people who make you feel best and read the books that make you feel best and go to the movies that make you feel best and take the drives that make you feel best and think of the aspects of those you work with who make you feel best... and think of your parents in the way that makes you feel best and make lists of things that you like that make you feel best and wear the clothing that makes you feel best and eat the food that make you feel best and do the things that make you feel best and think the thoughts that make you feel best...hmmmm, you would feel pretty good.
"p.300 "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent" Esther and Jerry Hicks

feeling good, feels good.

I recently came across a book that I think should be required reading for all human beings. Polyanna: The Glad Book by Eleanor H. Porter (Which is available freely online and is not under copyright laws anymore so you can google and catch yourself up on it, if you have not been so fortunate as to come across it before). It was the natural progression of my decision to inject more fun and joy into my life. What an amazing read. I feel so much happier about my new perpetually optimistic self. Its nice to know that this is not a novel idea and many years ago someone else discovered the power of a sunny disposition and a desire to find the good in all you come across or experience.

Its everywhere these days, with the recent worldwide release of the Secret, and its consequent appearances on the Oprah Winfrey show. Thoughts are creative so choose the good ones. There's also all the wonderful research on the power of positive thought and all the wonderful health and other benefits that arise from it. The Law of Attraction, the idea that we have the power to influence the world around us, by what we choose to think about. Its a lovely idea and there's lots of wonderful information, testimonials and stories of how it works and its a good a reason as any to want to feel good. Thinking good thoughts and feeling good sends out vibrations that attract all the good things you want to you. That's a good reason to put a big smile on your face.

I can't help but think though why one would need a reason, good or otherwise to put a smile on your face. Feeling good, feels good, which is why the geniuses who invented language called it feeling good. Feeling bad, doesn't feel so good, which is why the language inventors, amazingly insightful as they were called it something else, feeling bad. Now doing things that feel good, feels good. Thinking thoughts that feel good, feels good too. Playing games, having fun, laughing, loving, winning, celebrating, basking, savouring, anticipating... they all feel good too. Hmmm.

And the whole point of human existence seems to be feeling good. People may think they want more money, but more money buys nice things which make you feel good. Maybe love, but being in love, or being loved makes you feel good. Power, some people want power, they live for it, because the idea of having power makes them feel good. Fame... feels good too. Kids... fun to be around... feel good. Basically we all want everything that we think we want because they make us feel good.

So people basically just want to feel good all the time and everything they do is intended to lead them to that good feeling. Nice huh? So what happens when you decide to feel good anyway, because that is the whole point of our existence. Feel good now. Right now. Don't have that car you want, ok... but feel good anyway. That feels nice, right? That mansion. Feel good anyway. That fortune... feel good anyway. Why, because you can and because that is the whole point. And trust me, this may seem obvious but it is a powerful concept. Hang in there for a few moments and let it sink in. You can feel good now. Right this instant. Why? Because you can.

How? Find a thought, or something to do that feels better. Play the glad game. Find something now that feels good about whatever it is you are going through and just feel that feeling and immerse yourself in it. That yummy, warm, gooey, delicious feeling. Now doesn't that feel good? And that good feeling right there is what you want. The other stuff you were worried about that's just another way of getting there, but you have a shortcut. You can feel good anytime by choosing to, because you can. There's more. But this one bit is so awesome. I'd like you to mull on that one for while. Feeling good, feels good. Really good. And when you strip life to the basics. That's the whole point really. So why don't you do it now, rather than later... when you have (fill in the blank... it all leads to the same thing in the end) you are waiting for so you can feel good. Feel good anyway... simply because it feels soooo good. It really does. ;-)

play

I've just rediscovered how much fun it is to play again. I'm finding myself waist deep in joy exhilaration and excitement and I can't beleive how good this all feels. Its a yummy yummy feeling and I find myself totally relating with feisty little children who just go through life grabbing all the opportunities that come their way and turning it into something fun and pleasurable.

I do the same with my little niece, it the most effective way I can get her to do something. I simply turn it into a game. (She's catching on fast though and these days she get's a little suspicious when I suggest we play the 'let's go to sleep game'). I can't help but wonder though, why I didn't do this more often with myself in my real life. Things are so much more tolerable when you turn them into a game.

Its so easy to not take things so seriously when you take the seriousness out. These days I find I play the "let's go to work game' every morning and with my often ornery boss, I find myself playing the 'let's find the quickest way to do this without taking his grumpiness personally game' and doing my job has never been easier. When I'm dressing up in the morning I have learned to play the "let's make Sam look gorgeous game' and find myself making some really daring choices that end up winning me constant compliments about how I look.

Playing along in this game of life, I am finding myself so much happier and freer than I ever was . I totally get how this works because the whole entire point of games is to make you happy and if you're out there seeking ways to make every situation or experience you come across leave you as happy as possible then its elementary isn't it dear Watson... Happiness is exactly what you get. Yummy, delicious, exhilarating, exciting, gleeful dollops of absolute joy.

It is so good to be me, isn't it?