letting go

I like to hold on, to keep things firmly in my grasp, in my control.

Its funny I'm suddenly reminded of my niece yesterday at the supermarket. I had run in to get some soda and I asked her to pick out a bottle of juice for herself and while we were waiting at the counter, a guy from the next queue smiled as he looked down at her. "She's hanging onto it so tightly" and I looked down and there was Erica hugging that little bottle to her chest with such a determined look on her face. Staking her claim.

I guess in this big bad world where big people are always telling you not to do things, and taking things away from you saying that they're bad for you. Little people need to be tough. And in an instant I see myself and my difficulty in just letting go. I guess for all the blessings I have received I just don't trust the big God and the big Universe, sure they've given me loads of wonderful things in the past, but you never know when they're going to swoop down and take it away. Which is why I have to be on top of things. Grab everything within reach and hold on to it as tight as can.

But its not always so easy. Little Sam can only do so much and its at times like these that she needs to remember that the big God and the big Universe are looking out for her best interests, and they are just waiting for her to let go so that they can swoop in and make things right. Just as they always have. And in the exact same way Erica trustfully handed me her precious bottle when we got to the counter knowing from past experience that she would get it back once it was swipped past the laser. I need to learn from my past experience and simply... let go and let the big people take care of it.

Just as I always have... eventually